Trump Derangement Syndrome? Or Just a Collective Moment of Clarity?

 

Ah, Trump Derangement Syndrome—the MAGA crowd’s favorite diagnosis for anyone who hasn’t yet accepted that a man who tried to rename the Gulf of Mexico the "Gulf of America" (because, apparently, Mexico was getting too much credit) might not be a stable genius. Look at the above picture. Look at it hard, for a long minute. Imagine you just met these two elderly gentleman at an RV convention. Which one is crazy as a loon? It's really not that difficult, is it? The fact that those around him let him leave the house looking this way should also scare the shit out of you.

Let’s review the current symptoms of this so-called "derangement":

• Tariff Wars: Trump slapped tariffs on everything like a toddler slapping stickers on a fridge, then acted shocked when other countries retaliated. Farmers got wrecked, prices went up, but hey, at least we owned the libs by making milk more expensive.

• Renaming Geography: The man looked at a 500-year-old body of water and said, “Nope, sounds too foreign. Let’s Americanize it.” If that’s not deranged, then neither was Caligula making his horse a senator. He thinks that Greenland is like an unclaimed golf course in the Atlantic, and he can just call "dibbs" on it. 

• Pissing Off Allies: He treated Canada like a disobedient puppy, called NATO obsolete, and cozyed up to dictators like they were contestants on The Apprentice: Authoritarian Edition. But sure, we’re the ones with the problem for noticing.

• Signalgate: Remember when Trump railed about the previous administrations handling of classified material and top secret plans. His team of numb nuts chat war plans from the Kremlin while using an unauthorized and illegal chat channel like 8th grade boys sending dick pics to their girlfriend on Tik Tok whilst including their mom and the school Principal because they were to stupid and lazy to double check who they were texting. 

• DOGE: Let's let a Megalomaniac with a pack of rabid teen and twenty something dickless nerds revamp the US government.  All of them think they are immortal, and this is a practice run for when they are running Mars. Should work out well.

• Stock Market: Seems like world market makers disagree with the man of many bankruptcies and business failures. Retirement accounts are not lookin so good.

And yet, MAGA insists we’re the deranged ones? The same people who treat Trump’s fake bronzed face—a shade somewhere between Cheeto and leather basketball—as if it’s the glow of divine wisdom? The same crowd that nods along when he claims he’s "the least racist person" while retweeting white supremacists?

At what point does "Trump Derangement Syndrome" just become basic pattern recognition? If you look at a man who tried to overturn an election, paid off a porn star, and thinks windmills cause cancer—and your conclusion is "Yep, flawless leader," then maybe, just maybe, the derangement isn’t on our end.

The real question is: What will it take for MAGA to admit they’re in a cult of personality?

• A fourth indictment? Already happened.

• A gold-plated Trump UFO announcing he’s the second coming? Might be next week.

• Him openly admitting it? Oh wait, he already said "I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody and I wouldn’t lose voters."

So, by all means, keep calling us deranged. Meanwhile, we’ll be over here—watching in awe as you defend a man who thinks "person, woman, man, camera, TV" is a cognitive test, and a tariff isn't a tax on the average American.

Final Diagnosis: If you still think Trump is the sane one in this equation, your brain might need a factory reset.